Posts tagged ‘Money’

“Helping” the Helper?

Something interesting happened to me last night. I was journaling, just free writing about things that were weighing on my mind. Something else had come up, and in my venting, I wrote about how useless I felt, because I was having to add more to the “prayer pile” of things that we absolutely need to happen in our lives. Thinking about it now, it’s rather laughable. But, I was writing these things down, and really, in my emotions I really felt helpless…and I felt like there was something wrong with me for not being able to help God with the things that we need. I’m a helper. It’s my nature, but as it translates to my relationship with God, my journaling allowed me to see in the past, I’ve really tried to help God be God as it relates to the things that happen in my life…often to dire results. See, what I understand is that when we say we are helping God, we are really taking whatever burden we had released to Him, back onto ourselves. In a sense, we are telling God that we are more adept at handling the issues in our lives than He is, and as I think about the mounting list of things that we are really believing God for, if I’m honest, there is nothing that i can do about any of those things. Thus the helpless feeling.

Here’s the kicker…..there is something about realizing that God is the only one who can fix a situation, or answer a desperate prayer, that puts you right in the sweet spot of His will. The only help that God requires of us is to have faith, and be obedient when He tells us what to do. There is nothing we can do to help God move further along, faster, in His will for our lives. This truth is something that we tout quite often, and quote in our churches, but is it really something that we constantly act upon? I don’t. It’s hard. I see our needs. I know how the odds are stacked up against us. I know how many attacks have come our way since we made the conscious choice to trust God for the things that are deep in our hearts. ¬†You see your needs, and no doubt you have ideas of how those things can be fixed. In truth, though, would your ideas really fix the entire situation or only muddle things for your future?

Our prayer pile is HUGE. It is GINORMOUS! It is so large that just looking up at it makes me shake, but the beautiful thing about that bountiful mountain of needs is that we have to look UP. It is forcing us to look past it’s peaks into the Heavens where my Abba resides and stands ready to move in His timing according to His process and will. He knows what we need, and no matter how big and important these things are to us, they are infintismally small and easily doable for Him. We just have to wait. And believe.

 

And stop trying to “help”.

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True Life

Today was a day, not unlike any other day. I woke up in a good mood. I had a chance to steal a nap with my wife. We had a good breakfast, and a good lunch. We worked in the garage for our garage sale this weekend. Then my wife told me what she had planned for dinner, and suddenly my mood shifted. AS I traveled to the church to pick up a few tables for the coming weekend, I began examining myself. I felt angry. I was frustrated. But why? Because we weren’t having pizza or some other delectable delight for dinner?

No. My wife is a great cook. Even if I don’t really care for turkey legs, they will still be good, cause she is just awesome like that. So why are my thoughts cloudy? A sequence of thoughts really sums it up.

 

Me: I’m so tired of being broke. I wish i could take my wife out, take my kids out. why is it that every time we have money, we don’t really have it, because we are always catching up on bills from when we didn’t have money before.

(my mood is steadily worsening)

Me: I know I’m complaining, but I can’t ask my parents for rent this time. They’ve helped us till they can’t help us anymore. Maybe we shouldn’t have made that trip home a few weeks ago. We left with a little money, and came back with none…and we didn’t even spend money on anything but gas.

(I can feel my spirit being pulled down even further)

Me: God, my parent’s get sick of me asking them for money. Shoot, I’m always praying to you to meet our financial needs. We don’t have money for rent. Our light bill was extended to Monday, and we don’t have that money yet. So much stuff is due. We can’t even get the kids’ school supplies. What gives? Don’t you get sick of me ALWAYS coming to you with ALL of these desperate needs ? Don’t you get tired of hearing from me? I know my folks do. They probably hate me and think I’m a failure.

Now, during this diatribe, I feel God interrupt me with such force that I still have the wobbly feeling in my stomach. After that last part, God simply says, “No.”

“No, I don’t get tired of you coming to me with your needs.”

“No, I don’t think that you are an abject failure.”

“No, you don’t like having to come to me every time you need something.”

It comes to me on a personal level that God’s strength is made perfect when I’m at my weakest. Well, I’m weak now. And even while I feel completely helpless, by the same token, I can strangely feel better. Peace. God has spoken to my storm with one simply word, “No.”

In one of his recent sermons, my Pastor said that we have to believe that God CAN meet our needs, even if He doesn’t meet our need for some reason. Our job is to believe that God IS able in EVERY circumstance. By that same token, we, I, have to keep believing in my heart that God never tires of hearing from me. My complete and utter dependence upon Him is what He wants most of all from my life. Thusly, I MUST believe¬† that God will come through. And He will.

I know that I come to you all usually with something encouraging. Even in this mood that I was in, I hope that God’s response to my weakness encourages you all the more. I don’t mind admitting my failures and shortcomings. It’s all truly life.

You all be blessed.