One thing that I tend to struggle with more than other things is the fact of leadership. Not that I don’t want to be lead, I enjoy following sound, Godly leadership. My issues stem more from the kind of leader that I am, or even accepting and embracing the fact that I do lead. I’ve always been hard on myself when it comes to what I do with groups. I’ve always felt like I don’t say the right thing, or ask the right question to stimulate group discussion or encourage the group that I’m facilitating at the moment. Furthermore, I tend to compare myself to others’ results, wondering if I were more like them, if I could see the same results.

I had a moment tonight during our life group where I was talking about comparisons. More specifically, I was referring to how we compare ourselves, and are conditioned to compare ourselves in every instance of our lives. When the group was over, those thoughts were still staying with me. I could feel myself begin to ask if I was truly a good leader, or a leader at all.

Now, I fell God telling me that I was uniquely created for the work that He has for me. Sure, I may be awkward. I may not ask the right questions. I may not keep the conversations going. I may not be dynamic. Then again, maybe I AM all of those things, but I think God is showing me through what I think are my shortcomings, that because I see my failing, I should also see His strength working through my human condition. It sounds weird, I know, but the thing is, we spend so much time focusing on what everybody else is doing. We focus on what other churches are doing, wondering why God is not doing the same thing through us and our church, or group. Family, God is too big to do everything the same way. When we allow our minds to focus on what God is doing for others, we limit His power and the way that it wants to work uniquely through our unique circumstances. God is so creative that even where we see personal failings or weaknesses, God sees opportunity to change the world. He created every awkward nuance in our lives to be a mirror and reflect His glory.

So just as God is dealing with me about being so hard on myself, I think there are areas in your own life where you are the same as me. I would like to encourage you, as God encourages me, that you are a masterpiece of God’s creative design. You are the apple of His eye, and everything that He has placed in you, whether you understand it or not, has been placed within you to show forth His glory to the world around you. I can’t be TD Jakes, or my pastor, or even my friends who show such dynamic gifts, but neither can they be me, and what God has placed in me is going to be enough to bring others to Him. So, I suppose I am a leader, learning to lead in my own awkward fashion…more ugly duckling than graceful swan, but to God be the glory!

Until next time, be blessed.

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